Embracing Aries

Complete contribution published on Embracing Special Needs on August 27, 2020

As leaden tears fell from my eyes, I touched the glass of his isolette. My sleeping beauty lay there surrounded by wires and tubes and the muffled sounds of doubtful statistics and medical realism. My heart was so broken during that moment. He was living to me, but was dying to them. He needed love from me; a touch of love from me. Anything to make him aware that even though he was no longer within me, I was still with him. Even something as small as the gift of affection, I was not allowed to give to him, but the world was able to give him whatever it deemed appropriate including the label, “FAILURE TO THRIVE” in bold, glaring letters next to his name. It was my first day on the job of motherhood and I felt like a failure.